What is Domestic Abuse?

Both females and males can become victims of domestic violence and domestic violence is defined by the Home Office as:'Any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.  This includes issues of concern to black and minority ethnic (BME) communities such as so called ‘honour based violence’ female genital mutilation (FGM) and forced marriage'.

An adult is defined as any person aged 18 years or over.  Family members are defined as mother, father, son, daughter, brother, sister, and grandparents, whether directly related, in laws or step family.

Domestic Abuse can take several forms. It may be: 

PHYSICAL ABUSE: slapping, kicking, punching, denying sleep, biting, shoving, starving, imprisonment.

SEXUAL ABUSE: rape, sexual assault, forced sex, sexual insults, mimic or participate in pornography.

ECONOMIC ABUSE: not being given access to money, forced to give up your job.

EMOTIONAL ABUSE: being put down, called names, intimidated, isolation, cutting up of clothes.

HARASSMENT: being followed, unwanted letters/telephone calls/texts/e-mails, threats.

THESE ARE ONLY EXAMPLES. 

Each person's experience is unique. Some of the ways people react to domestic abuse include:

• It's my fault
• I should be coping better
• I'm stupid
• Why don't I leave?
• Why do I still love him or her?
• I'm a bad mother if I let my children abuse me
• I'm too ashamed to tell anyone
• It can feel like you are the only one this is happening to and that other people cope much better than you. Once you seek help you'll find that you are not alone.

RECOGNISING ABUSERS

Does your partner:

• intimidate, torment, shout, bully, drive too fast, never let you answer a question?
• say you are stupid, a bad parent, belittle and tell you no one else would want you?
• isolate you, restrict access to family and friends whilst appearing charming to them?
• blame you for the abuse (saying it was 'only'), continually excuse their behaviour?
• use your children to control you, try to turn them against you?
• make you feel like a servant, control all the money and make all the decisions?
• demand sex or rape you, make you feel dirty and unable to stand up to them?
• after leaving you persuade or frighten you to resume the relationship?

FEELINGS & BEHAVIOURS

Feelings and behaviours you may experience can include: