Why do people stay in or return to abusive relationships

Power:

Fear of Partner. People are often terrified of being found by their abusers. Experience shows this fear to be justified - abusers will go to extraordinary lengths to trace their victim.

Fear of Living Alone. They may have been kept in isolation, have no friends, have been denied contact with their family. They may have been totally controlled and do not know how to cope alone.

Lack of self-respect/confidence. They may have come to believe all the names they have been called and therefore feel worthless.

Guilt. They may have been told that it is their own fault, that they provoked him/her and that therefore they get what they deserve.

Drugs/Alcohol. Either of these can be used as a control.

Practical Difficulties:

Money. They may have no money and no idea that they are entitled to benefits.

Accommodation. Where will they go? Even if they know their way around the 'system', the prospect of moving to a refuge or B&B can be daunting.

Possessions. They may have to leave absolutely everything behind in the knowledge that they are unlikely to see any of it again.

Children. They may feel guilty about uprooting their children from school, friends, family, pets and their other parent with whom they might have a good relationship. They may also fear that the children will be taken away from them if they disclose domestic abuse.

Skills. If they have been controlled, given no money, clothes or social contacts or more generally no access to the public world, they may not KNOW how to leave.

Emotions:

Love. It is perfectly possible to love someone but hate what they do. They may want the abuse to stop but not the relationship.

Hope. Victims are often optimistic and want to believe the abuser when they say they won't do it again.